Saturday, May 9, 2009

today.......

This morning I woke up and feel just as crappy as the weather outside.

Have you ever felt like you are standing in a room full of people screaming and nobody pays attention? That is how I feel right now. I either have tears in my eyes or have them streaming down my face.

I feel like a basketcase and can't seem to shake it today. I know it will pass, I WILL NOT let this feeling take over - I am way too strong to fall into that oblivion of depression that I feel is trying to swallow me whole!

This is the 10th year without my mom. She let depression take over her life October 1999 and I miss her soooooooooooooooo much. It hurts today like that first day, maybe it's the approach of another holiday - a special event.

My hubby, 2 boys & I are going to spend today together doing a little shopping. We had such a good rummage sale last weekend that we are going to splurge!! We are going to go out for lunch and the movies as well. It should be a pretty good day even though the rain is falling.

Jacob just came in and saw my tears - he gave me a huge hug and an "I love u mom". I feel a lot better now. Plus Terry is in the kitchen making us some breakfast - scrambled eggs, toast & sausage - mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm!!!!

Gotta shake this off!! I can't let this drag me down - I need me, my family needs me, I am stronger than this.

Ok, gotta go get me some breakfast and start this day over right now. Put a real smile on my face and remember that I am loved by many people!!

5 comments:

namaste said...

well dee, all the words of wisdom that you need, you've said right here in your post.

and just remember, you can add another person to the list of people who love you: ME!

i think depression is a natural process that effects all people at all ages. God's little reminders of discomfort to keep us reflecting, reevaluating and moving ourselves along. our job is not to get stuck in the sadness. i think you are doing wonderfully, dee! when you consider all of the difficulties that you refuse to let knock you down.

stay strong, you goddess you!

(((HUGS!)))

~maria

deesblog said...

thanks Maria~

Your words of wisdom are very helpful and the hugs did wonders.

Love u too girl

Dee

Sandi said...

Maria's right. As much as depression hurts, getting through it is what makes us strong. And keeps us that way. Cry when you need to. It's cleansing.

deesblog said...

thanks Sandi...sometimes I just need those reminders.

I am a survivor and will get through this!!

It's Me said...

Dee,
....and this too shall pass. It's only for a moment. Call me on my cell when you need to talk. Love ya, Patti